I am re-launching my super-successful and popular 5 week ‘Outgrow Codependency’ course as a Live Bootcamp with 5 Live Q&s on January 25th.
I am soooo excited about it because it contains everything you need to know about codependency to end your struggles with it. It’s kind of a DIY recovery roadmap that you can tailor to your own needs.
When I first found out that I was codependent, I felt relieved and then floored. I had actually found a word that confirmed that I was in fact broken. The sense of relief was quickly replaced by a sense of dread, fear and shame.
Was I really broken?
I threw myself into research on how to rid myself of codependency because I needed to get rid of it to finally have the relationship I had always longed for, right?
Thing was that at that time – about 8 years ago – the literature was scarce and depressing. It wasn’t trauma-informed or attachment-based. I found it shaming and highly pessimistic.
- I read that I had an incurable disease.
- I read that I had defects of character.
- That I was a magnet for evil narcissists.
- That I should be single and alone because relationships were no longer safe for me.
- That I should stop seeking support from others and instead completely rely on myself.
- That I should pray or transfer my dependency onto an organisation that then told me what to do.
No. No. No!
The little voice within me grew stronger with every page I was reading. This wasn’t right.
How could admitting defects of character help me feel better about myself?
Why was I repeatedly told that the very thing I wanted to have (a happy relationship) was not something I could have?
Why was it all so fatalistic?
Why did no one offer solutions or provide instructions on what to do instead?
I was willing to take the risk that I was wrong and prolonging the inevitable but I needed to find out whether there were other solutions for dealing with codependency and surprise, surprise there were!
I found effective ways that helped me become healthier, rebuild myself, genuinely start to get to know and value myself, stand up for myself in relationships, learn what it actually takes to create a healthy relationship, develop a healthy relationship mindset and unleash my authenticity without fear or shame.
And what that did was remove my need to be distracted from what was going on within myself because I had learned how to be there for myself and actually enjoy my own company (so the fear of being alone completely fell away).
It removed the confusion I had around setting boundaries and whether I was being reasonable – all of a sudden, it all became clear as day what I was willing to accept and what I wasn’t!
I removed my need for others to dictate how I was going to feel about myself based on their perceptions of me.
So many of my problems simply fell away because I had developed a new, healthy part.
What I did was outgrow codependency.
I couldn’t believe it at first but once I taught my clients what I was practicing, I saw all my transformations replicated over and over again.
My clients also began to genuinely like themselves and grew in confidence.
They learned to replace negative self-talk with compassionate self-talk.
Self-care became an effortless and fun practice for them.
They started to set boundaries with ease instead of enduring confusion and guilt.
They identified where they had been going wrong in their relationships and develop healthy relationship skills.
They became more secure than they ever thought possible and even managed to stay calm during difficult situations.
This new kind of confidence is highly empowering.
It’s exciting and fun!
And it’s available to you too.
I know how that may be hard to believe right now – it was hard for me at first too – but maybe this will help you:
It is not too late for you to get what you want and begin to feel good about yourself.
The reason you don’t have what you want is not because you don’t deserve it or because you’re unlovable or broken – it is because no one taught you how to get what you want. No one made it ok for you to get what you want and so you still believe that to be true. It feels like that’s just how it works for you.
But it isn’t. It really isn’t!
And the reason you don’t feel good about yourself isn’t because you are flawed in any way – it’s because no one showed you how valuable you are and so you don’t treat yourself that way. And how can you like anyone who doesn’t treat you well or ignores you most of the time? You can’t right?
It all makes sense.
Your struggles make sense.
You make sense. But now it’s time for a new kind of logic.
A logic the will help you change some fundamental beliefs and make different choices.
✅ Choices that will get you what you want.
✅ Choices that come from a place of love instead of fear.
✅ Choices that will feel empowering and liberating.
And they are available to you.
A few simple strategies, practices and mind shifts and off you’ll go – I guarantee it!
I invite you to join me and like-minded action takers who are ready to feel good about themselves and leave their self-esteem and relationship struggles in the past to take part in my ‘Outgrow Codependency’ Bootcamp starting on September 14th 2020.
In it, you’ll learn how to feel good about yourself, how to take care of yourself, how to reparent yourself, how to deal with toxic shame and self-criticism, how to create healthy relationships and how to grow into your most secure and confident self.
Sounds like a lot?!
It isn’t because it’s all linked and that ripple-effect carries through and leads to a domino-effect of transformation.
I’d love the opportunity to show you how it all works and how you too can outgrow codependency.
With Love (and lots of belief in you!)